10 Tips For Taking Care of Each Other

For the past couple of posts, I've looked at how I take care of my husband versus how it was suggested that women care for their men in the 50's.  It was fun, but it got me thinking about how much my husband and I do to take care of each other.  So I decided, what the heck, I'll write my own list for tips of how to take care of each other.

1.  Talk to each other

Communication is key to a great relationship, sure, but I'm not talking about talking about feelings and emotions and all that other stuff.  I mean actually TALK to each other.  Converse, have meaningful and not-so-meaningful conversations with each other.  Casey and I tell each other everything and anything.  We talk about our day, we talk about stuff we want to do, we talk about stuff that needs to be done, we talk about our jobs, he talks about his car, I talk about my writing.  We talk.  That shows that we care about the other's interests, and that we are interested in what they have to say.

2.  Cook for each other

Being that Casey works really long hours, I do the majority of the cooking during the week.  On the weekends or the rare occasions he gets home earlier than normal, however, Casey likes to give me a day off by doing the cooking.  My husband is an AWESOME cook, especially on the grill.  He can cook some amazing creations in the kitchen, but he is a master when it comes to cooking on the grill.  He can cook pretty much anything on the grill.  He makes the absolute best burgers I've ever eaten in my life, and he cooks the most amazing chicken, pork chops, and even salmon.  He's also very creative when it comes to cooking veggies on the grill, too.  I feel very spoiled when I get to take the weekend or the occasional weeknight off from cooking, and I get to eat some amazing food as well.

3.  Laugh at and with each other

Laughing is the best medicine.  It can turn that frown upside down.  When you're married to someone that can make you laugh, it makes life so much more fun.  Casey and I both have a unique sense of humor.  My style of humor is more sarcastic, while he isn't afraid to get act a little goofy to put a smile on my face.  We have both found that when either of us are a little down, stressed out, or just not feeling ourselves, we can make each other laugh and everything just feels better.  

4.  It's OK to be goofy

I'm not afraid to admit that I used to be quite a fuddy-duddy.  By that, I mean that being goofy just wasn't something I felt comfortable with.  I can make people laugh, but don't ask me to tell a joke or act like a fool, because that's not in my realm of humor.  Well, that was until my husband came along.  For the first year of our marriage, while I'm in tears from laughter at his goofy dances and voices, he would ask me why I didn't get goofy every once in a while.  It just wasn't my "thing".  But, somehow, someway, he's bringing the goofy out in me.  He's not afraid to perform little dances, talk in different voices, and make goofy faces (yes, even in public), and he's slowly starting to get me to do the same (minus performing in public). 

5.  Go on spontaneous adventures

Being that Casey and I work so much, it's often hard to make plans for traveling.  We can't always plan vacations or getaways, due to Casey's inconsistent work schedule.  That doesn't mean we don't travel, we just do it spontaneously.  It's amazing how exciting it can be when we wake up one morning and Casey tells me we're going on an adventure.  In our three years of marriage, we've had all kinds of trips and outings.  We got married in Vegas, but on our way home, we decided to detour and drive home in a different direction.  Yes, we drove, for that specific reason.  Flying takes away all the memories that can be made from the car ride.  We got to experience New Mexico, Arizona, Utah, and Colorado with the drive to and from Vegas.  We've also woke up several times and decided to drive to Tennessee so that we could see Casey's family, just on the spur of the moment.  He's woke me several times to tell me that he's surprising me with a day-trip, and we've ended up in state parks, historical places, and other sights that are closer to home.  He's much better at the spontaneous thing than I am, because I've always been so much of a planner.  He's spontaneous trips have never disappointed, and we've always had such a great time.  

6.  Support each other's interests

Being married doesn't mean that you're going to enjoy doing the same things, all the time.  Casey enjoys playing video games, and I enjoy writing.  Casey loves working on his car, and I like to crochet.  We each have our individual interests, and it's important that we have time to do them.  If he wants to play video games, I pull out my crocheting.  If he wants to work on his car, I work on my computer.  I've heard many women complain that their men spend too much time doing stuff that they're not interested in, and not enough time on them.  Well, ladies, take those opportunities to do the things you enjoy doing.   It's OK to have individual interests, and we have found ways to do them together.  While he was playing video games with our daughter (in the photo), I was crocheting.  Win-win for both of us.

7.  Be best friends

I'm going to get all sappy, here, but Casey and I really are best friends.  There's not another person on this planet that I would rather hang out with.  I think hearing, "you're my best friend", is just as awesome, if not more meaningful, than "I love you".  We tell each other everything, we share our hopes and fears, we console each other, and we are each other's biggest supporters.  We love just hanging out and watching a movie, or going on our little adventures.  We are honest with each other.  We don't keep secrets from each other.  We can also rant, yell, and show our true emotions, because we're comfortable enough with each other to do so.

8.  Communicate your feelings

Casey and I have a very weird, and completely amazing connection.  Even though most people will probably think think it's crazy, we can actually feel each other's feelings.  There are times when, all of a sudden, I'll start to feel angry or sad without having any rhyme or reason to do so.  A quick phone call to Casey clears that up for me.  He'll immediately tell me he's angry or upset about something, and then my sudden feelings make sense.  It works in vice-versa, as well.  Casey has messaged or called just to check on me, because he's got a feeling that something's not right.  It's then he discovers that I'm stressing about something or I'm upset, or whatever.  This makes it very easy for us to communicate our feelings, because it's impossible for us to hide how we truly feel.  I've got stories that would make your hair stand on end about our emotional connection, but I'll save that for another time.  What we've learned, however, is the importance of talking to each other about whatever problems we're having, so that we can address it and it doesn't fester.

9.  Fight and make up

If anyone in a relationship says they don't fight, there's only a couple of reasons why.  1) They are not invested enough in the relationship to consider anything worth fighting for, or 2) They're lying.  Fighting is a completely normal part of marriage.  You're not always going to agree on everything, and sometimes you just have to hash it out.  While I don't like fighting, and it upsets me to no end to fight, I've learned how important our fights have been to the development of our relationship.

For the first two years of our marriage, we fought A LOT.  I believe a lot of that comes from us still getting to know each other.  One of the biggest mistakes we made was not making up the right way.   We would yell and scream, and then whatever we was fighting about would be swept under the rug, and we'd just act like the fight never happened.  What we've learned since, though, is that when we didn't resolve the fight, we'd be fighting about the exact same thing not long after.  Now, while we still fight on occasion, it's important that we take a little time to cool down and then talk about what we were fighting about and come up with resolutions.  No, we're not always going to agree, but we can respect each other's opinions.  We also make sure we make up, and not just pretend the fight didn't happen.

10.  Love on each other

Finally, the absolute, most important way that we take care of each other is by simply loving on each other.  We hold hands, we snuggle up together when we're watching TV, and we kiss a lot.  We are constantly loving on each other in some way or another.  It doesn't just happen while we're awake, either.  We sleep in what we call "pretzel style", meaning our legs are entwined with each other, and we are tangled up in each other.  We are constantly showering each other with love.  We wake up at 4 AM each morning, just so we have some time before work to spend with each other.  Before we go to bed, it's important that we've spent some time snuggled on the couch together.  When we are out in public, we hold hands, and aren't afraid to show the world that we are in love.  We just don't ever get tired of loving on each other, and we don't care who knows it.  Of all the tips that I've shared, this is my favorite and keeps me assured more than any of them that we truly, deeply love each other.

So, there you go, my ten tips for taking care of each other.  Marriage is a partnership.  It doesn't always mean that everything is equal.  There are days where one of us has to pick up the slack.  What's important is that we are a team, we're partners, we support each other, and we take care of each other.  That's what marriage is all about.  We take our vows very seriously, and accept that we're still learning and growing each day.  What I do know is that I'm married to my soulmate, and no matter what we go through, we will ALWAYS be here for each other, loving on each other, and getting through whatever life may throw at us.  

Until next time....