5 Back to School Tips For Parents

Rejoice parents!! Your children are about to go back to school. Yes, the three longest months of the year are coming to an end, and you're doing everything in your power to contain your excitement.

You may have had back to school planned since the beginning of July.  You bought school supplies the minute they showed up in the stores, you have all of the first day outfits picked out, and you've stashed the case of wine you're going to use to celebrate on the big day.  I understand that it's a time when you're so excited about the kids being out of your hair, you don't want to think about much else.

Thankfully, I'm here to give you a few tips (from a teacher) about things you may not have thought of...

1.  Attend any back to school events or open house

Many schools offer a back to school event or open house so that you have a chance to meet the teacher your child is going to have, this year.  Your kids might be a little uneasy about which teacher they're going to have, so open houses give your kids a chance to knock out some of the anxiety.  They'll know where their classroom is, where they'll sit, and what they need to do when they arrive on the first day.  Plus, teachers really like to meet YOU.  

Tip from the teacher:  Teachers want to meet you, so they can get some insight on your child.  It's a great way of showing your child, and the teacher, that you care about meeting the teacher and hearing a little about what's in store for the school year.

2.  Ask lots of questions

Open House is a great time to ask your child's teacher any questions you may have.  This is a great time to ask what kind of learning is going to take place, what are the expectations on homework, what should you be looking out for in backpacks, how you get a hold of the teacher, and what are the teacher's expectations from your child.  It's also a great time to give your child's teacher some information on any issues or concerns you might have.  If you can't make it, give your child's teacher a call.  They are usually more than happy to set up a different time to meet with you.  

Tip from the teacher:  Don't feel worried about sharing concerns with a teacher.  They're not going to judge you if little Timmy has a hard time sitting still, or Timmy doesn't get along well with Lucy.  They NEED to know this information to ensure your child is comfortable in the classroom.  

3.  Have a talk about first day expectations

You've bought all the supplies, you've got their bags packed, you've met the teacher at Open House, and your sweet angel is just about ready.   Now it's time to have a little discussion about back to school expectations.  Gone are the nights staying up playing Fortnite, sleeping in until noon, and eating whenever and wherever they want.  After 3 months of being at home, it's time to remind your child that life is going to be a little different.  Make sure they go to bed a little earlier, and get up a little earlier.  Talk to your child about listening, following directions, and making a good impression.  Show them that you respect and trust the person that will be caring for your child while they're at school.  

Tip from the teacher:  By meeting the teacher, you've shown your child that you've made contact and that you can be reached easily, if needed.  Encourage your child to have fun, pay attention, and listen to the teacher.  If you ever have a complaint or concern, make sure you reach out to the teacher or principal instead of complaining to the child. 

4.  Find out about drop off and pick up procedures

The first day is always a busy time for drop off and pick up.  Many parents want to deliver their children and pick them up on the first day, even though the kids will ride the bus the rest of the year.  While that's perfectly OK, try to obey the drop off and pick up procedures.  There's really nothing worse, or more frustrating, than getting behind a car in the PICK UP LINE, when the parent parks and goes into the school.  The pick up line is for children who's parents are going to stay in the car and pick their kids up from a designated space.  If you're going into the school, park in the parking lot.  

Tip from the teacher:  As much as we know you want to walk Little Timmy to his classroom on the first day, it makes things so much more chaotic and cluttered when there are 200 parents shuffling through the hallways.  If it's NOT Timmy or Lucy's first time at the school, they know where everything is and they can get to their classroom.  You really don't need to walk your child to their classroom, that's what Open House was for, so they should know where to go.

5.  Avoid the "how was your day" question

The most common question a parent will ask their child on the first day of school was, "how was your day?".  The response is usually, "fine", or "OK".  And that concludes the first day of school discussion.  Instead of asking how their day was, trying asking questions they actually have to answer.  Here's a list of questions you can ask your child each day, that will actually give you some insight to how their day really went:

• What did you do in your classes?
• Who did you sit with at lunch?
• What did you play at recess?
• What is one thing you learned today?
• What was one thing you didn't like about your day?

Don't let your child respond with answers such as, "nothing" or "no one".  Probe them for information.  This is your chance to find out what's going on while they're at school.  Sometimes, you'll find out about a situation that needs to be addressed or you'll be able to gauge how your child is feeling about school.  

Tip from the teacher:  If your child is reluctant to talk about school, bring it to the teacher's attention.  When the teacher has 20-80 students a day, they often don't immediately pick up if little Lucy isn't making friends or is struggling with a subject.  

That's it!! Your back to school tips, from a teacher to a parent.  This is the time to show your child that their education is important, and you support them getting a good education.  A child's thoughts and attitude towards school often comes from their parents view of the school.  If you want your child to have a great year, be involved, encourage them, and talk to them.  And don't forget, your child's teacher is available and willing to talk to you about ANY concern or question you have.

Have a great school year!

AYDAF: Hard Work Pays Off

It's that time again.  Time for another installment of Advice You Didn't Ask For!

Today's topic:  Hard work pays off.

Ah, the sweet memories of my childhood.  The time when my parents, grandparents, teachers, and any authoritative adult in my life gave that wonderful piece of advice.  I remember being praised for my good grades, my dedication to school, and getting a job at the young age of 14.  I remember those adults telling me that as long as I kept working hard, I would soon see the benefits of that hard work.  In my mind, that meant if I worked really hard, I'd make bukus of money.  

Now, here I sit, 36 years old.  I have a Master's Degree, a Bachelor's Degree, and an Associate's Degree.  I am a few days from starting my 7th year as a teacher.  My yearly salary, after all the take outs, sits right above the federal poverty line.  The amount I owe in student loans from getting all of those fancy degrees was the equivalent of TWO YEARS of my salary BEFORE take-outs.  Even with my husband's pay, we often find ourselves juggling bills, cutting out extras, and sticking to a pretty strict budget to get by.  

So, where all of those adults wrong about hard work paying off?

Yes and no.  Depending on how you take that common piece of advice.

As an educator, it's literally my job to tell my students how important their education is.  As a parent, I have given my own children that piece of advice since the first time they questioned anything they were doing at school, or in life in general, that they struggled with.  I explain to my students and my children that in order to get anywhere in life, they need a good education, and they need to work hard.  Even though there are lots of children out there that won't ever have to worry about money, many more children won't have that luxury and have to work hard for everything they get.

I've worked hard my entire life.  I've done all of those things that I was advised to do.  I went to college, even though I was raising three children.  I pursued my dream career.  I spent many a sleepless night huddled over text books and my computer to write papers and complete assignments.  I continued to hold down a job while going to school.  I worked HARD.  So, did it pay off?

The first milestone

When I was 19 and a single mother to two very small children, I had no choice but to utilize public assistance.  I had food stamps, my kids had state insurance, and I had day care assistance vouchers.  My job paid the rent and the bills.  Even with all the assistance, I lived paycheck to paycheck.  After a couple of years of living that way, I decided to start working a little harder to find a job that would help ease some of my burdens.  I ended up landing a pretty decent job working for an extremely large retailer at their corporate headquarters.  

I went from a job that made $7.50 an hour to a job that paid almost $12 an hour.  That was pretty good money, back then.  I will never forget the feeling I had when I got that first letter telling me that my income no longer qualified for food stamps.  I wasn't worried that I was now going to have to buy my own food.  Making another $5 an hour made a HUGE difference, and I took that as proof that my hard work truly had paid off.  I was able to feed my children without the use of public assistance.

The college plunge

After a couple of years of working in retail, I was inspired to pursue a college education.  I'd wanted to be a teacher since I was 5, so I decided it was time to make that dream come true.  For four years I took full-time college courses, worked part-time, and raised my kids.  I lacked sleep, money, and patience, but what an amazing feeling when I walked across that stage to receive my Bachelor's degree.  A year later, I was hired as a 4th grade teacher in the school where I now currently teach.  I worked my butt off, and had finally made a 20+ year dream come true. 

The great chase

If you've read the Prologue section of the blog, you'll know that Casey and I met in high school, lost touch, and reconnected 14 years later.  From the minute I saw Casey again, I just KNEW I still loved him.  Actually, I never stopped loving him, the emotions just all flooded to the surface when he was standing in front of me.  What I haven't disclosed, however, is that it wasn't a "love at first sight, got back together" reunion.  Casey and I weren't even on speaking terms at our first meeting, due to drama with his then girlfriend.  I was simply taking our daughter to meet Casey for the first time.

That first meeting, however, put into motion a very long, grueling, emotional chase to rekindle our love.  We both ended our current relationships, and Casey moved to Arkansas.  He didn't move to be with me, he moved to get away from a nasty living situation and to start over.  I ended my relationship because I knew I had feelings for Casey, and it just wasn't fair to be with someone when I didn't love them.  

For the following three months, I went through an emotional roller-coaster.  Casey told me CONSTANTLY, he didn't want a relationship, but I knew that we were supposed to be together.  I knew fate had brought us back together for a reason, and so the hard work began.

I worked my butt off, and eventually managed to convince Casey into giving us a chance. He was so worried that his past would interfere with our future, and he was right, but we just worked through it.  We've had our downs, we've had our struggles, but we've worked hard, and now we are very happily married,  He is my best friend, and I just couldn't imagine my life without him.  My hard work definitely paid off.

It's not just about money

So, I've worked very hard throughout my adult life, and I'm not rich.  I'm not swimming in monetary compensation from all the hard work.  What I am swimming in, however, are the other blessings that have come with my hard work.  I raised three amazing children, I put myself through college, I got my dream job, and I am married to my soulmate.  None of those things were easy.  I worked long and hard to get the things I'm most truly thankful for.  

Sometimes, we have to remember that money isn't always the reward for hard work.  In fact, money shouldn't be the only reason to work hard.  Work hard to follow your dreams, work hard to get something you want, and work hard to rise above difficulties.  When you do those things, you will be very happy with the reward.  

Hard work DOES pay off.  

That's your advice you didn't ask for.  You're welcome!

'Til Next Time!

Back to School Shopping, A Teacher's Plea

It's that time of year, again.  The summer is dwindling down, and you're reminded in every store that your child's supply list is waiting.  For some parents, walking into any store towards the end of July is that sweet reminder that summer isn't going to last forever, and your little angels will soon be returning back to school.  For other parents, they walk into the same store and think, "ugh, I'm gonna have to buy all this crap soon".  For teachers?  They just avoid any store for the entire month of July.  It's just too much to accept that they have to go back to work in just a couple of weeks.
Unfortunately for me, I had to make a trek to Wal-Mart last week.  I had no choice but to walk by the aisles filled with parents loading up their carts with their kids' school supplies.  It didn't take 5 seconds for me to hear those words that I hear every year.  The words that make my skin crawl, my defense mode to kick into action, and the swift reminder as to why I avoid these aisles when they're bustling with parents:

"This supply list is RIDICULOUS!! I'm not buying supplies for the teachers and all the other kids who won't buy their own supplies.  No child needs THREE BOXES of pencils!  Teachers can buy their own freaking supplies!"

I get it, parents.  I do.  I was a parent of school aged children for six years before I became a teacher.  I'd look at the supply lists each year and wonder why on earth kids needed so much to go to school.  BUT, it wasn't until I actually became a teacher until I realized WHY I bought those supplies for my kids each year.

I want to take a few minutes to dispel some of those nasty misconceptions that parents often have about their child's supply list:

You're buying supplies for teachers

First and foremost, you're not buying supplies for teachers.  Yes, I know you've seen dry erase markers, pens, Post-Its, and maybe even white-out and staples on the school supply list.  You're first reaction is to think that these supplies are for teachers.  That's not always the case.  Many teachers (myself included) have the students use dry erase markers for assignments.  Kids can use dry erase markers on their desks and personal dry erase boards without making any mess.  Most teachers now have SmartBoards, so they don't use dry erase markers very often.  I also have my kids use pens to write and edit their own papers.  Post-Its are used quite often to take notes while reading.  My students also use White-Out and the stapler.  Whatever is on that list is for the students to use. 

There's no way your kids use that many supplies 

I know it's hard for parents to fathom that their little darlings go through three package of pencils, three packages of paper, and three boxes of Kleenex in a school year.  It's not uncommon for parents to use their own judgement, and buy 1 of everything, even though the supply lists ask for 3 of everything.  However, this past school year was the first in SIX YEARS that I didn't run out of pencils and paper before Christmas.  The only reason for that?  We finally got Chromebooks for the kids to use, so we don't do as much pencil/paper work as we previously did.

Years prior, most of my students had the required supplies, and I STILL ran out of pencils, paper, and Kleenex before the end of the school year.  I'm convinced that kids must eat pencils, because I would go through a box of pencils every couple of days.  They would just vanish.  Kids also use a lot of paper, and Kleenex.  Kids like to blow their nose, a lot. I tried all kinds of tactics to help conserve supplies, but nothing worked. Your kids are in school about 170 days, and when they need a new pencil every couple of days, about 3-5 sheets of paper a day (at least), and around 2-4 Kleenexes a day, one package of each just doesn't cut it. When teachers ask for multiples of something, it's because they know that's AT LEAST how much your child will use throughout the year - although it can often be double that.

You're buying supplies for other children who don't buy their own

As sad as it is, it's very true that many kids will return to school without supplies.  It's often because the family can't afford the supplies.  Sometimes, it's because parents actually refuse to provide supplies because it's "the school's job" to provide the necessary supplies.  Even though many schools do fundraisers to help purchase supplies, and many companies donate supplies, do you know who has to pick up the slack when students don't have their supplies?  The teachers.  That's right.  It's very common for teachers to use THEIR OWN MONEY to purchase supplies for children who don't have them, or whenever the supplies run out.  In my six years of teaching, not a year has gone by that I haven't gone school supply shopping a week after school starts to buy supplies based on how many children didn't get their supplies.  I also make several purchases throughout the school year, when the supplies are dwindling down.  My own money, that I should be using to support my own family, goes to helping kids in my classroom have the supplies they need.

I know that people often believe that schools give teachers money to buy supplies.  Each year, we do get a small stipend to spend on supplies that WE need.  I usually get staples, Post-Its, a package of dry erase markers, and some other odds and ends.  While these supplies help me out, I still end up buying quite a few supplies (out of my own pocket) because they are specially needed for some kind of project or something I'm doing in my classroom.  It's not the school's fault.  They have a limited budget and they have to use the budget to make sure that other needs are met. 

Even though I complained about having to buy so many supplies for my 3 children before I began to teach, that was NOTHING compared to how much money I now spend on school supplies each year.  Now that I'm a teacher, I completely understand why parents are asked to provide supplies for their children.  If the parents don't supply them, the school doesn't magically step in.  No, unfortunately, it's very often the teachers that have to spend their own money to make sure they have the supplies they need. 

Don't know if you are aware of how much teachers make, but my bring home pay equates to about $600 a week.  That's about $15 an hour, if I work a 40 hour work week.  Not exactly racking in the big bucks.  Let's not start on the whole, "teachers only work half a year", and all that jazz.  That's for another blog post.  What I'm trying to say here is when you look at the supply list, realize that your child really does need all that "stuff".  You're not buying the supplies for teachers or kids who don't buy supplies.  You're helping teachers who will end up having to buy supplies, themselves, if you don't get them.  Teachers who have their own kids to buy for, their own families to support, and are pretty much the only professional that has to take a nice chunk of their own money to buy supplies they need to do their job:  Teach YOUR children.  I'm pretty sure doctors aren't buying their own supplies to medically treat you, are often making 3 times as much as teachers, and are still charging HUNDREDS of dollars for 15 minutes of their time.  Think about that, for a second. 

If you think school supplies are expensive now, just wait until you get that first college bill.  Now, THAT'S something to complain about.  HA!!!
 
'Til Next Time!!