Last of the Summer Wine

This morning, I woke up with a lump in my throat.  That tingly, hard to swallow feeling when you're on the verge of tears.  Then it hit me... Today is the last day of my summer break.

On Monday morning, I will be returning back to work for the 2018-2019 school year.  For the first time in 6 years, today brought me a sadness.  A feeling of panic, almost.  Does it really have to be over so soon?

Before anyone gets on their soapbox about teachers getting 3 months off, don't.  Just don't.  

First off, we do NOT get 3 months off for summer.  I taught summer school for the first 2 weeks of summer break, so my summer break didn't start until the middle of June.  I have had 8 weeks off work, NOT 3 months.

OK, I know, 8 weeks is by far a lot more than most get off of work each year.  Most people have to work 20+ years to even get 4 weeks off during the summer.  I'm not complaining.  Seriously, I'm not complaining.  I'm extremely thankful for getting so much time off work.  It just doesn't make it any easier to accept when those 8 weeks come to an end, and I'm faced with the realization that I have to start wearing work clothes and limiting when I can go to the bathroom, again.

It's weird, actually.  For the past 5 years, I'm ready to return back to work by the middle of July.  Around that time, I start cracking out my curriculum guides, lesson plans from last year, and start Googling for new lesson ideas.  I usually spend a week or so planning the first few weeks of school, I go back to my classroom the minute the floors are finished with their waxing, and I'm ready to jump into a new school year.  Usually, I'm just bored of being home, and I'm ready to start to just be doing something.

This summer was very, very different.  

If you read my post from the other day, you know I had a miscarriage this summer.  Not the fondest of summer memories.  I spent 2 weeks teaching summer school, sharing my excitement of my pregnancy with my co-workers, only to find out 2 weeks later that there was no baby.  You also know that the miscarriage did a lot in bringing my husband and I closer than we've ever been.  It also affected me in a way I didn't expect.  For the first time IN MY LIFE, it made me want to be a stay-at-home mom/ wife.  

Believe me, if you know me personally, you'd know that me being a stay-at-home mom/ wife is NOT something I'd ever in a million years thought I'd want to do.  It's just not (or wasn't) me.  I've had a job since I was 14 years old.  Working outside the home is something I've always done, and what I've always wanted to do.  It gives me interaction with others, I learn a lot, and it keeps me busy.  I like being busy.  

This summer, I've been busy.  Busy dealing with emotions.  Busy with rediscovering myself.  Busy with analyzing what I want out of life.  Busy writing, building my blog, and learning about the world of being a freelance writer.  Busy keeping my house clean, laundry done, and making sure food is ready when my husband comes home from work.  All from the comfort of my home, in my pajamas.  And, despite all the trauma, I've been happy, completely content, and enjoying the experiences as they've been taking place.

Through all the turmoil, I've found a new passion for my writing.  Casey forced helped me to start writing again, as a way to deal with everything that's been going on.  He inspired me to start a new blog, start telling my "stories" again, and even told me that I should look at doing some writing for money.  After a couple days of research, I found a site that has given me some small writing jobs, and they have been fun.  It's also been really nice to "work" on my own schedule.  

Once Casey leaves for work, I check emails, I respond to comments, and then I write my blog.  Once that's done, I work on any articles I'm writing or editing, or apply for some writing or editing jobs.  Then, I get my cleaning done around the house or I watch some TV.  I periodically work and clean throughout the day, and then start getting ready to make dinner.  It's become my routine, and I've really got to love the freedom of working when I want, cleaning when I want, and just being able to watch some TV or take a nap if I want.

It has been such a relaxing, carefree summer.  And now, it's over.

My summer isn't going to impact my job.  I'm still a teacher, and still love teaching children.  It's just that I've found a new appreciation for being a stay-at-home mom/wife, and it's something I'm now considering if Casey and I are blessed with another baby.  

Of course, I don't know if I'll ever be able to make enough money writing from home to quit my job.  Bills still have to be paid, food still has to be put on the table, and 2 incomes are needed to support our family.  Teaching has been my passion for 25 years, actually doing so for the past 6.  I love teaching.  I just love taking care of my family more.  

It's going to be a tough transition, going back to work.  I know my summer won't have any impact on my actual work.  I'll still be a kick-butt teacher.  In fact, rebooting my love of writing will actually make me a better teacher.  I teach reading and writing because I love those subjects, but being able to share my own experiences with my students makes me a better teacher, in my opinion.  

I'm going to miss being home.  I'm going to miss the free time I had to write.  I'm going to miss cleaning the house and cooking dinner for my husband, when he gets home.  I'm just going to miss the relaxing, less stress, laid back environment that I've been soaking up for 8 weeks.

But, as they say, all good things must come to an end.  It's time to suck it up, put my big girl pants on, and face that my care-free summer life is over.  

My hopes are that I will eventually get pregnant again, my writing career takes off, and I may be able to consider being a stay-at-home mom at some point.  Until then, it's time to get my head back in the game, get ready to inspire the lives of my students, and go back to the joy of juggling work and home.  

Goodbye summer.  We had a great time together, and you will be missed.
'Til next time!

5 Back to School Tips For Parents

Rejoice parents!! Your children are about to go back to school. Yes, the three longest months of the year are coming to an end, and you're doing everything in your power to contain your excitement.

You may have had back to school planned since the beginning of July.  You bought school supplies the minute they showed up in the stores, you have all of the first day outfits picked out, and you've stashed the case of wine you're going to use to celebrate on the big day.  I understand that it's a time when you're so excited about the kids being out of your hair, you don't want to think about much else.

Thankfully, I'm here to give you a few tips (from a teacher) about things you may not have thought of...

1.  Attend any back to school events or open house

Many schools offer a back to school event or open house so that you have a chance to meet the teacher your child is going to have, this year.  Your kids might be a little uneasy about which teacher they're going to have, so open houses give your kids a chance to knock out some of the anxiety.  They'll know where their classroom is, where they'll sit, and what they need to do when they arrive on the first day.  Plus, teachers really like to meet YOU.  

Tip from the teacher:  Teachers want to meet you, so they can get some insight on your child.  It's a great way of showing your child, and the teacher, that you care about meeting the teacher and hearing a little about what's in store for the school year.

2.  Ask lots of questions

Open House is a great time to ask your child's teacher any questions you may have.  This is a great time to ask what kind of learning is going to take place, what are the expectations on homework, what should you be looking out for in backpacks, how you get a hold of the teacher, and what are the teacher's expectations from your child.  It's also a great time to give your child's teacher some information on any issues or concerns you might have.  If you can't make it, give your child's teacher a call.  They are usually more than happy to set up a different time to meet with you.  

Tip from the teacher:  Don't feel worried about sharing concerns with a teacher.  They're not going to judge you if little Timmy has a hard time sitting still, or Timmy doesn't get along well with Lucy.  They NEED to know this information to ensure your child is comfortable in the classroom.  

3.  Have a talk about first day expectations

You've bought all the supplies, you've got their bags packed, you've met the teacher at Open House, and your sweet angel is just about ready.   Now it's time to have a little discussion about back to school expectations.  Gone are the nights staying up playing Fortnite, sleeping in until noon, and eating whenever and wherever they want.  After 3 months of being at home, it's time to remind your child that life is going to be a little different.  Make sure they go to bed a little earlier, and get up a little earlier.  Talk to your child about listening, following directions, and making a good impression.  Show them that you respect and trust the person that will be caring for your child while they're at school.  

Tip from the teacher:  By meeting the teacher, you've shown your child that you've made contact and that you can be reached easily, if needed.  Encourage your child to have fun, pay attention, and listen to the teacher.  If you ever have a complaint or concern, make sure you reach out to the teacher or principal instead of complaining to the child. 

4.  Find out about drop off and pick up procedures

The first day is always a busy time for drop off and pick up.  Many parents want to deliver their children and pick them up on the first day, even though the kids will ride the bus the rest of the year.  While that's perfectly OK, try to obey the drop off and pick up procedures.  There's really nothing worse, or more frustrating, than getting behind a car in the PICK UP LINE, when the parent parks and goes into the school.  The pick up line is for children who's parents are going to stay in the car and pick their kids up from a designated space.  If you're going into the school, park in the parking lot.  

Tip from the teacher:  As much as we know you want to walk Little Timmy to his classroom on the first day, it makes things so much more chaotic and cluttered when there are 200 parents shuffling through the hallways.  If it's NOT Timmy or Lucy's first time at the school, they know where everything is and they can get to their classroom.  You really don't need to walk your child to their classroom, that's what Open House was for, so they should know where to go.

5.  Avoid the "how was your day" question

The most common question a parent will ask their child on the first day of school was, "how was your day?".  The response is usually, "fine", or "OK".  And that concludes the first day of school discussion.  Instead of asking how their day was, trying asking questions they actually have to answer.  Here's a list of questions you can ask your child each day, that will actually give you some insight to how their day really went:

• What did you do in your classes?
• Who did you sit with at lunch?
• What did you play at recess?
• What is one thing you learned today?
• What was one thing you didn't like about your day?

Don't let your child respond with answers such as, "nothing" or "no one".  Probe them for information.  This is your chance to find out what's going on while they're at school.  Sometimes, you'll find out about a situation that needs to be addressed or you'll be able to gauge how your child is feeling about school.  

Tip from the teacher:  If your child is reluctant to talk about school, bring it to the teacher's attention.  When the teacher has 20-80 students a day, they often don't immediately pick up if little Lucy isn't making friends or is struggling with a subject.  

That's it!! Your back to school tips, from a teacher to a parent.  This is the time to show your child that their education is important, and you support them getting a good education.  A child's thoughts and attitude towards school often comes from their parents view of the school.  If you want your child to have a great year, be involved, encourage them, and talk to them.  And don't forget, your child's teacher is available and willing to talk to you about ANY concern or question you have.

Have a great school year!

AYDAF: Hard Work Pays Off

It's that time again.  Time for another installment of Advice You Didn't Ask For!

Today's topic:  Hard work pays off.

Ah, the sweet memories of my childhood.  The time when my parents, grandparents, teachers, and any authoritative adult in my life gave that wonderful piece of advice.  I remember being praised for my good grades, my dedication to school, and getting a job at the young age of 14.  I remember those adults telling me that as long as I kept working hard, I would soon see the benefits of that hard work.  In my mind, that meant if I worked really hard, I'd make bukus of money.  

Now, here I sit, 36 years old.  I have a Master's Degree, a Bachelor's Degree, and an Associate's Degree.  I am a few days from starting my 7th year as a teacher.  My yearly salary, after all the take outs, sits right above the federal poverty line.  The amount I owe in student loans from getting all of those fancy degrees was the equivalent of TWO YEARS of my salary BEFORE take-outs.  Even with my husband's pay, we often find ourselves juggling bills, cutting out extras, and sticking to a pretty strict budget to get by.  

So, where all of those adults wrong about hard work paying off?

Yes and no.  Depending on how you take that common piece of advice.

As an educator, it's literally my job to tell my students how important their education is.  As a parent, I have given my own children that piece of advice since the first time they questioned anything they were doing at school, or in life in general, that they struggled with.  I explain to my students and my children that in order to get anywhere in life, they need a good education, and they need to work hard.  Even though there are lots of children out there that won't ever have to worry about money, many more children won't have that luxury and have to work hard for everything they get.

I've worked hard my entire life.  I've done all of those things that I was advised to do.  I went to college, even though I was raising three children.  I pursued my dream career.  I spent many a sleepless night huddled over text books and my computer to write papers and complete assignments.  I continued to hold down a job while going to school.  I worked HARD.  So, did it pay off?

The first milestone

When I was 19 and a single mother to two very small children, I had no choice but to utilize public assistance.  I had food stamps, my kids had state insurance, and I had day care assistance vouchers.  My job paid the rent and the bills.  Even with all the assistance, I lived paycheck to paycheck.  After a couple of years of living that way, I decided to start working a little harder to find a job that would help ease some of my burdens.  I ended up landing a pretty decent job working for an extremely large retailer at their corporate headquarters.  

I went from a job that made $7.50 an hour to a job that paid almost $12 an hour.  That was pretty good money, back then.  I will never forget the feeling I had when I got that first letter telling me that my income no longer qualified for food stamps.  I wasn't worried that I was now going to have to buy my own food.  Making another $5 an hour made a HUGE difference, and I took that as proof that my hard work truly had paid off.  I was able to feed my children without the use of public assistance.

The college plunge

After a couple of years of working in retail, I was inspired to pursue a college education.  I'd wanted to be a teacher since I was 5, so I decided it was time to make that dream come true.  For four years I took full-time college courses, worked part-time, and raised my kids.  I lacked sleep, money, and patience, but what an amazing feeling when I walked across that stage to receive my Bachelor's degree.  A year later, I was hired as a 4th grade teacher in the school where I now currently teach.  I worked my butt off, and had finally made a 20+ year dream come true. 

The great chase

If you've read the Prologue section of the blog, you'll know that Casey and I met in high school, lost touch, and reconnected 14 years later.  From the minute I saw Casey again, I just KNEW I still loved him.  Actually, I never stopped loving him, the emotions just all flooded to the surface when he was standing in front of me.  What I haven't disclosed, however, is that it wasn't a "love at first sight, got back together" reunion.  Casey and I weren't even on speaking terms at our first meeting, due to drama with his then girlfriend.  I was simply taking our daughter to meet Casey for the first time.

That first meeting, however, put into motion a very long, grueling, emotional chase to rekindle our love.  We both ended our current relationships, and Casey moved to Arkansas.  He didn't move to be with me, he moved to get away from a nasty living situation and to start over.  I ended my relationship because I knew I had feelings for Casey, and it just wasn't fair to be with someone when I didn't love them.  

For the following three months, I went through an emotional roller-coaster.  Casey told me CONSTANTLY, he didn't want a relationship, but I knew that we were supposed to be together.  I knew fate had brought us back together for a reason, and so the hard work began.

I worked my butt off, and eventually managed to convince Casey into giving us a chance. He was so worried that his past would interfere with our future, and he was right, but we just worked through it.  We've had our downs, we've had our struggles, but we've worked hard, and now we are very happily married,  He is my best friend, and I just couldn't imagine my life without him.  My hard work definitely paid off.

It's not just about money

So, I've worked very hard throughout my adult life, and I'm not rich.  I'm not swimming in monetary compensation from all the hard work.  What I am swimming in, however, are the other blessings that have come with my hard work.  I raised three amazing children, I put myself through college, I got my dream job, and I am married to my soulmate.  None of those things were easy.  I worked long and hard to get the things I'm most truly thankful for.  

Sometimes, we have to remember that money isn't always the reward for hard work.  In fact, money shouldn't be the only reason to work hard.  Work hard to follow your dreams, work hard to get something you want, and work hard to rise above difficulties.  When you do those things, you will be very happy with the reward.  

Hard work DOES pay off.  

That's your advice you didn't ask for.  You're welcome!

'Til Next Time!

Managing After a Miscarriage

Now that I've shared a little about me, I want to open up a little more.  A little deeper.  Share about something I faced this summer that came completely unexpected, something I didn't understand, and something I can now talk about.  This summer, I had a miscarriage.

I was about 5 weeks along when I found out I was pregnant.  It was quite a shock, especially being that it was only a few days after our oldest daughter graduated from high school.  We were starting over.  We were going to have a little one, again, and we were very excited.  We were so excited, we immediately began telling everyone and anyone.  Big mistake, in hindsight.  There's a reason why they tell you to wait 12 weeks before telling anyone.  I learned that the hard way.

For 2 weeks, everything was great.  Or so I thought.  Then, it was time for the doctor's appointments and ultrasounds.  We were so excited for the first ultrasound, but instead of seeing my baby's heartbeat on the monitor, we saw an empty, black sac, and started hearing words coming from my doctor's mouth.  

Blighted Ovum:  When a fertilized egg attaches to the uterine wall, but the embryo doesn't develop.

I had never heard of it in my life.  Didn't know it existed.  Couldn't even comprehend that it was happening to me, being that I'd had 3 successful pregnancies, and I come from a very fertile family.  Blighted ovum was my final diagnosis, and it took 2 horribly painstaking weeks of tests and ultrasounds to make the diagnosis, and for a D&C to be scheduled.  I should have been about 8 weeks along, and instead I was going to have a surgery to have my "products of conception" removed from me.  

It's very hard to put into words the emotions that surround a miscarriage.  It's a loss.  You need to grieve, rest, and try to make sense of a medical malfunction that happened inside your body.  You have to accept that people are going to offer their condolences, they are going to look at you with that look of pity in their eyes, and they are going to walk on eggshells around you, because they're not sure how you're handling it.  

I'm one of those people that put on the "brave face".  I smiled, I thanked everyone for their thoughts and prayers, and I told everyone that I'd be OK.  

What really happened, though, was a change inside of me.  Something I didn't really expect.  Something good actually came from this horrible tragedy.  I fell in love with my husband even more (if that's possible), and it connected our bond even stronger than I ever thought possible.  For the first time in our marriage, I needed my husband more than ever, and he was there.  There in a way I could never imagine.  There with his words, his actions, his support, and his encouragement.  

Walls were broken down in me that I never thought ANYONE would break.  That "I've got this", "I can handle anything, and get over it", mentality.  I have always been strong.  I've always been able to handle any and all obstacles that came my way.  I've always been the support that he needed, and the stress that I carried on my shoulders was never too much to carry.  Until the moment I heard that I wasn't going to have the baby I had already fallen in love with, the baby I had already started making a blanket for, the baby I had already envisioned in my mind.  

I tried with all of my might to put on that persona.  Then, I would find myself crying for no reason.  I would just break into tears at the drop of a hat.  I would convince myself it was just my messed up hormones, completely normal, and something that wouldn't last long.  

My husband knew it was just that.  A persona.  A fake image I was trying to carry, trying to pretend wasn't effecting me, and he jumped into action.

For the next few weeks, up until this moment, Casey has been my rock.  I've been able to open up to him, and he has listened.  He has taken care of me more than anyone has ever taken care of me.  I've never really been taken care of, before.  Not like that.  He held me when I needed to be held, he spoke to me with such love and understanding, and I am certain I wouldn't have made it through this without him.

What I have learned from all of this is that a miscarriage is NOT something someone can go through alone.  It doesn't matter how strong you are, how many trials and tribulations you've been through, nothing prepares you for the loss of a child.  And that's exactly what a miscarriage is, regardless if there's a baby there or not.  You feel like you have lost a child, and it takes a lot out of you emotionally, physically, and mentally.  

Casey and I are trying again.  We want to hold our rainbow baby in our arms, and thank God for the blessing of being parents again.  This loss has renewed our love, brought us closer together, and shown me that there isn't a stronger person in a marriage.  There have been many times he's needed me, and this was the time I really needed him.  He was there.  

I pushed aside the fact that he had to deal with this loss, also.  I had to understand that he also felt pain, felt loss, and regardless, he did everything in his power to ensure that I felt comforted, loved, and supported.  

It has been 4 weeks since my surgery.  I don't think the emotional change will ever go away.  I don't think I'll ever be "over" the miscarriage.  I can look towards the future and have hope that we will have our baby.  What I can take from all of this is that I know without a shadow of a doubt that there isn't another man on this planet that I could love, or would love me, than Casey.  He is my rock, my other half, my complete partner.  

I can't be me without him.  

Our angel baby, despite not getting the chance at life, has given us life.  Our angel baby was sent to show Casey and I how much we truly love each other, to bring us together even more, and to open us up in a raw and powerful way.  I truly believe our angel was sent to open all of this up for us, so that if we are blessed with a rainbow baby, he or she will feel that love that has come from this unexpected tragedy.  

'Til Next Time!

Making the Most of Monday

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It's Monday, again.  The last Monday of my summer break.  This time, next week, I'll be returning back to work to begin the 2018-2019 school year.  Being that I'm going to have to find some SERIOUS motivation to get back into the swing of going back to work, I thought I'd start a new blog series:  Making the Most of Monday.  I'll look at a few tips, each Monday, to stay positive and proactive throughout the week.
This week, I thought I'd start with:  Cleaning House After the Weekend
My husband and I have come to terms with the fact that the weekends are our days off.  Meaning, even if I'm not actually at work during the week, I'm still spending my days cleaning, doing laundry, cooking dinner, etc.  That's work.  So, on the weekends, I don't put as much effort into keeping the house clean.  In fact, the only real "work" I do on the weekends is wash dishes.  That's it.
Weekends don't last long, however, so in steps... MONDAY MOTIVATION.  While being home, I devised a plan on how I can motivate myself on Mondays to get the house clean, without wearing myself out completely playing catch up.  Of course, this whole thing will go out the window, next week, but it's good advice for when I have the luxury of being at home during the week.  So, here goes...

1.  Make Your Bed First

Shortly after Casey leaves for work, I always make sure to make the bed.  It's kind of the first piece of motivation I get.  I do this everyday, but it always feels more productive first thing Monday morning.  It takes all of three minutes to fluff up the pillows and spread out the sheet and comforter.  A made bed makes the whole room look a lot cleaner, instantly, and it gives that feeling that you've already accomplished something.

2.  Drink some coffee, alone

Casey and I get up at 4:30 each weekday morning.  Even though he doesn't leave for work until around 6:30, and I at 7 (when I'm working), we enjoy a couple of hours to mentally prepare for getting ready for work.  We watch the news, we drink coffee, and we just take some time to spend together before the crazy of our day gets started.  
Once Casey has left for work, I make my bed, and then I drink a cup of coffee.  While I'm drinking my coffee I'll scroll through Facebook, I'll check emails, and I'll reply to comments on my blog.  I make that cup of coffee last about half an hour to an hour, and just get that social media stuff out of my system.

3.  Write a blog, or whatever activity you like

If you're not a blogger, then you can skip this step.  Or, you can fill this in with a hobby you have.  If you like to read, read.  If you like to crochet, crochet.  If you like to scrapbook, scrapbook.  If you like to exercise, exercise. You get the idea.  Just take one piece of advice:  Set a time limit!!  Writing a blog takes as long as it takes to write a blog.  I can usually publish a blog post in about an hour.  If you're doing an activity that doesn't really have an end, set a timer.  Give yourself a set amount of time (an hour is a good length of time), and STICK TO IT!

4.  Time to get to work: Start in the kitchen

Yes, you've spent the first two hours of your day not doing any cleaning.  You're welcome.  But seriously, who wants to jump out of bed and immediately start cleaning house?  Not me!  Once I've had those 2 hours to myself, however, I'm ready to do what I need to do.  
If your house is anything like mine, the kitchen seems to be the room that needs the most attention on Monday.  I wash any dishes, and then I put away any clutter that may have accumulated over the weekend.  It's amazing how much stuff doesn't get put away over the weekend!  I, then, sanitize all the counters with a disinfectant spray.  I finish up in the kitchen by sweeping and mopping the floors.

5.  Move to the living room

While the floors are drying in the kitchen, I move straight to the living room.  For some reason, my living room always looks like a tornado has flown through on Monday mornings.  The living room seems to collect a lot of clutter over the weekend, when I'm not picking up those two days.  I get rid of any clutter on the coffee tables, pick up anything that doesn't belong in the living room, and just generally straighten up.  I then dust and wash all coffee tables.  After that's all done, I vacuum.  The final touch is spraying some Febreeze over the furniture and rug, to give the room a clean, refreshed smell.

6.  Bedroom, Bathroom, Laundry

I grouped these together because they aren't always the same, each week.  It's very common for me to do laundry Sunday afternoons, but I don't EVER put clothes away on the weekend.  So, on Monday, I have a basket or two of laundry that needs to be folded and put away.  After I've finished the living room, I put the TV on in the bedroom, get up on the bed, and fold clothes while watching something like People's Court or HGTV.  **Side note: HGTV is a great channel to give you cleaning motivation!**  Once the laundry is folded, I put it all way.  Then I take a second to straighten up the bedroom.  That never takes more than a second, cause once the bed is made and the clothes are put away, there's not really much left to clean.  
On Mondays, I straighten up the bathroom, and every other week or so I'll do a deep clean.  That's when I scrub the toilet, shower, and floors.  No, I don't do this EVERY week, but it's just my husband and I using the bathroom.  I'm not that much of a clean freak that I scrub my bathroom every week.  Don't judge me!  

7.  Relax

Once those last things are done, I can sit and relax.  That's when I watch any shows I have recorded, scroll through Facebook again, check emails, or take a nap.  Yep, I actually do that every once in a while.  I'm usually done with all chores around 1 PM, so I have a couple of hours before I have anything else to do.  

8.  Time to think about dinner

Between 4 and 5 PM, I start preparing dinner.  I'll chop up anything I'll be using, I get the pans out I'm going to use, and make sure everything is ready to go.  That way, when I know when Casey is going to be home, I am ready to start cooking.  I start cooking dinner to where it'll be ready about 20 minutes after he gets home, so he has time to shower.  
And that's it!!
That's how I get through Mondays, when I'm not at work.  Of course, I'll have to come up with a completely new plan after this week is over, but I'll tackle that when it gets here.  I look at staying at home as a blessing, but there's still some work involved.  Making a plan keeps me motivated, and hopefully it'll sprinkle some motivation into your Monday.
 'Til Next Time!

Going Viral is Going CRAZY!

As I'm writing these very words, I'm watching CBS News and their coverage on the "Kiki Challenge".  People jumping out of a MOVING vehicle to perform a dance while being recorded.  I've watched this same story topic for over a week, now.  Apparently there's nothing exciting going on in our country that they have to report on viral video challenges.  Every day, they share how funny some of the videos are, or they talk about how dangerous some of the videos are.  People have posted videos of themselves jumping out of a car and falling, slamming into poles, and one girl is now in intensive care because of this "viral challenge".  

Yesterday, while watching The Talk, they discussed a YouTube dad who fed his children laxatives in order to get his video to go viral.  The children are shown crying in pain due to the stomach cramps the laxatives gave them.  What the heck is wrong with people?  They are willing to harm their own children to get some subscribers and likes on their YouTube channel?  How do they not realize the backlash something like that would cause?  Do they care?  

Also yesterday, I posted a video on my own Facebook that was circling around of a small child mouthing her daycare worker for being in time-out.  When I say mouthing, I mean the most disrespectful, unbelievable mouthing I could even fathom coming out of a 4 year old's mouth.  

People are sharing this video and think it's FUNNY.  Are you kidding me?  This is NOT funny.  This is downright disgusting, and I'd have a solid butt whooping in store for my child if she EVER spoke to someone like that.  And then I wonder why my colleagues and I are shocked at some of the disrespectful behavior we see from our students.
Is this what our world has come to?  People doing anything and everything to get their 15 minutes of fame?  Putting their lives in danger, torturing their kids, and laughing when their children are downright rude and disrespectful?  Is it any wonder why we have the problems in this country that we have?
I am shocked and appalled at how many videos I see of brutal fights, people being gunned down, animals tortured, and what do people do?  They record it on their cell phones.  Nobody steps in, nobody tries to help, they just want to capture it on video so they can post it to Facebook.
You know what I chalk it up to?  Fast fame and fast money.  We have become a society that are doing anything and everything we can to make a quick buck.  Kids are OBSESSED with YouTube, and they truly believe they can become instant millionaires by starting a YouTube page.  Then, they discover it's a little harder than they expected, so they are trying drastic measures to beat the competition and get some quick likes (money) to their YouTube page.
I have been amazed at how many kids have told me, in the past couple of years, that education really isn't that important because they're going to be YouTubers when they're older.  They have told me, straight to my face, "You don't need an education to make money on YouTube".  
I'm starting to feel like it's not just my students that need some education, but maybe some parents that need some education as to where this mentality is heading for their little angels.  
I'm not trying to bash any parent that allows their kids to use social media, but there HAS to be some education and structure when allowing children to utilize technology that can have some seriously dangerous effects.  Allowing your child to spend every waking moment on Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat, or YouTube really is corrupting their minds.  
I teach reading and writing.  Two subjects I feel are becoming completely obsolete to children who tell me they don't read because they watch YouTube videos, and can't write because they're all about text lingo.  I've had parents tell me their children don't need to learn how to spell, because their devices can do that for them.  I've had parents tell me that it's not worth making my students read books, because they do plenty of reading on Facebook.  Seriously?  You want your child's reading skills to come from Facebook?
What scares me more than anything is the increasingly popular video challenges.  Eating tide pods, trying to swallow powered cinnamon, suffocating each other until they pass out, and now jumping out of cars to perform a dance.  Parents, I can't emphasis enough the dangers that are associated with these types of challenges.  Kids are dying or becoming seriously injured.  Don't wait until your child tries one of these stupid stunts to claim you didn't have any idea your child would participate in such a silly challenge.  Don't be shocked when your kid seriously hurts themselves because you assume they're smarter than that.  Peer pressure is real, and it appears, more serious than EVER.
It's now time to talk to your children about the dangers of these videos.  It's time to tell them that the 15 minutes of fame they may or may not receive just isn't worth it.  It's time to monitor your child's device usage!  Don't ever think your child would do something as stupid.. cause I've got news for you.  They will.
Something else to discuss with them?  How pulling out a cell phone when a fight breaks out or a person is being severely bullied is NOT the correct way to handle themselves in that situation.  Teach them how important it is to step in, if they can, or go for help.  Do SOMETHING to help the situation, instead of worrying about whether they can get the best video.  
I am so happy that our school district is now handing out HARSH punishments for kids who are videoing stuff like fights and bullying.  I'm devastated about having to admit that students, as young as 7th grade, have been suspended for sharing nude pics, posting photos on their Facebooks with alcohol or guns, or sharing fights they've recorded on their cellphones.  We've had to impose a "no device" rule during school hours, just to keep students focused on their school work.  
My school district is trying to do what they can, but just like any other serious issue like this, the first step needs to be taken at home!
While many parents have a dream that their child will grow up and make a name for themselves, having a child that will do ANYTHING to get a little fame on the internet isn't the best way to go.  Don't let your child's name be remembered as the kid who ended up dead because they competed in some stupid viral challenge, in jail because they posted a video of themselves beating someone senseless, or recognized as being the person who spews hate and bullying about a particular type of people.
It's one thing when you post a video of your child doing an amazing act of kindness, your animal doing the cutest behavior, or someone actually stepping in and being a hero.  Those videos are AWESOME, and I wish there were kindness challenge to take the place of some of the moronic challenges that are now swimming around.
Actually, that's not a bad idea.  Parents, please feel free to talk your kids into starting a kindness kraze challenge.  Challenge them to do something nice for a complete stranger, a kid who's lonely at school, or the elderly neighbor that has a hard time getting around.  Record that kind of stuff.  I would be much happier seeing my Facebook feed and the news explode with THAT challenge.  
At the end of the day, I'm just shocked and appalled at the lengths people will go to in order to go viral.  Have some common sense.  Parents, teach your children some common sense.  Adults, have some common sense and remember that kids are watching you.  Real, true fame takes hard work, it takes education, and it takes common sense.  And that's my public service announcement for today.

Rant Over!

Back to School Shopping, A Teacher's Plea

It's that time of year, again.  The summer is dwindling down, and you're reminded in every store that your child's supply list is waiting.  For some parents, walking into any store towards the end of July is that sweet reminder that summer isn't going to last forever, and your little angels will soon be returning back to school.  For other parents, they walk into the same store and think, "ugh, I'm gonna have to buy all this crap soon".  For teachers?  They just avoid any store for the entire month of July.  It's just too much to accept that they have to go back to work in just a couple of weeks.
Unfortunately for me, I had to make a trek to Wal-Mart last week.  I had no choice but to walk by the aisles filled with parents loading up their carts with their kids' school supplies.  It didn't take 5 seconds for me to hear those words that I hear every year.  The words that make my skin crawl, my defense mode to kick into action, and the swift reminder as to why I avoid these aisles when they're bustling with parents:

"This supply list is RIDICULOUS!! I'm not buying supplies for the teachers and all the other kids who won't buy their own supplies.  No child needs THREE BOXES of pencils!  Teachers can buy their own freaking supplies!"

I get it, parents.  I do.  I was a parent of school aged children for six years before I became a teacher.  I'd look at the supply lists each year and wonder why on earth kids needed so much to go to school.  BUT, it wasn't until I actually became a teacher until I realized WHY I bought those supplies for my kids each year.

I want to take a few minutes to dispel some of those nasty misconceptions that parents often have about their child's supply list:

You're buying supplies for teachers

First and foremost, you're not buying supplies for teachers.  Yes, I know you've seen dry erase markers, pens, Post-Its, and maybe even white-out and staples on the school supply list.  You're first reaction is to think that these supplies are for teachers.  That's not always the case.  Many teachers (myself included) have the students use dry erase markers for assignments.  Kids can use dry erase markers on their desks and personal dry erase boards without making any mess.  Most teachers now have SmartBoards, so they don't use dry erase markers very often.  I also have my kids use pens to write and edit their own papers.  Post-Its are used quite often to take notes while reading.  My students also use White-Out and the stapler.  Whatever is on that list is for the students to use. 

There's no way your kids use that many supplies 

I know it's hard for parents to fathom that their little darlings go through three package of pencils, three packages of paper, and three boxes of Kleenex in a school year.  It's not uncommon for parents to use their own judgement, and buy 1 of everything, even though the supply lists ask for 3 of everything.  However, this past school year was the first in SIX YEARS that I didn't run out of pencils and paper before Christmas.  The only reason for that?  We finally got Chromebooks for the kids to use, so we don't do as much pencil/paper work as we previously did.

Years prior, most of my students had the required supplies, and I STILL ran out of pencils, paper, and Kleenex before the end of the school year.  I'm convinced that kids must eat pencils, because I would go through a box of pencils every couple of days.  They would just vanish.  Kids also use a lot of paper, and Kleenex.  Kids like to blow their nose, a lot. I tried all kinds of tactics to help conserve supplies, but nothing worked. Your kids are in school about 170 days, and when they need a new pencil every couple of days, about 3-5 sheets of paper a day (at least), and around 2-4 Kleenexes a day, one package of each just doesn't cut it. When teachers ask for multiples of something, it's because they know that's AT LEAST how much your child will use throughout the year - although it can often be double that.

You're buying supplies for other children who don't buy their own

As sad as it is, it's very true that many kids will return to school without supplies.  It's often because the family can't afford the supplies.  Sometimes, it's because parents actually refuse to provide supplies because it's "the school's job" to provide the necessary supplies.  Even though many schools do fundraisers to help purchase supplies, and many companies donate supplies, do you know who has to pick up the slack when students don't have their supplies?  The teachers.  That's right.  It's very common for teachers to use THEIR OWN MONEY to purchase supplies for children who don't have them, or whenever the supplies run out.  In my six years of teaching, not a year has gone by that I haven't gone school supply shopping a week after school starts to buy supplies based on how many children didn't get their supplies.  I also make several purchases throughout the school year, when the supplies are dwindling down.  My own money, that I should be using to support my own family, goes to helping kids in my classroom have the supplies they need.

I know that people often believe that schools give teachers money to buy supplies.  Each year, we do get a small stipend to spend on supplies that WE need.  I usually get staples, Post-Its, a package of dry erase markers, and some other odds and ends.  While these supplies help me out, I still end up buying quite a few supplies (out of my own pocket) because they are specially needed for some kind of project or something I'm doing in my classroom.  It's not the school's fault.  They have a limited budget and they have to use the budget to make sure that other needs are met. 

Even though I complained about having to buy so many supplies for my 3 children before I began to teach, that was NOTHING compared to how much money I now spend on school supplies each year.  Now that I'm a teacher, I completely understand why parents are asked to provide supplies for their children.  If the parents don't supply them, the school doesn't magically step in.  No, unfortunately, it's very often the teachers that have to spend their own money to make sure they have the supplies they need. 

Don't know if you are aware of how much teachers make, but my bring home pay equates to about $600 a week.  That's about $15 an hour, if I work a 40 hour work week.  Not exactly racking in the big bucks.  Let's not start on the whole, "teachers only work half a year", and all that jazz.  That's for another blog post.  What I'm trying to say here is when you look at the supply list, realize that your child really does need all that "stuff".  You're not buying the supplies for teachers or kids who don't buy supplies.  You're helping teachers who will end up having to buy supplies, themselves, if you don't get them.  Teachers who have their own kids to buy for, their own families to support, and are pretty much the only professional that has to take a nice chunk of their own money to buy supplies they need to do their job:  Teach YOUR children.  I'm pretty sure doctors aren't buying their own supplies to medically treat you, are often making 3 times as much as teachers, and are still charging HUNDREDS of dollars for 15 minutes of their time.  Think about that, for a second. 

If you think school supplies are expensive now, just wait until you get that first college bill.  Now, THAT'S something to complain about.  HA!!!
 
'Til Next Time!!

Advice You Didn't Ask For: Parenting Gets Easier

It's Wednesday, so that means it's time for: Advice You Didn't Ask For.  Each week, I pick of advice I've been given at some point in my life, that I didn't ask for, and I share how that advice worked out for me.

The backstory

I got pregnant with my first child when I was 17.  I turned 18 just two months before my daughter, Payton, was born.  I was scared, unsure, and didn't really know what to expect.  I am the oldest of 6 kids, so it's not like I hadn't been around babies, but having one of my own was a whole new ballgame.  The advice I received A LOT while pregnant with my oldest was that infancy was the hardest part of motherhood, but it didn't last long.  I recall several women telling me, it was going to be tough at first but it would quickly get easier.  

If having a baby at 18 wasn't tough enough, I gave birth to my son, Brayden, just 11 months after my daughter was born.  I thought I was scared being pregnant at 17, but that was nothing compared to the fear I had of having two babies just 11 months apart from each other.  Throughout my second pregnancy, I was reassured that my second child would be a lot easier than the first, because I already knew what to expect. 

I got a little break before I had my last child.  My youngest, Jada, was born 6 years and 8 months after my second child.  The whole time I was pregnant with her, I knew that I wasn't worried or scared at all.  I had taken the "kids get easier" advice to heart.  Everyone told me that I'd been there, done that with my first two kids, so I had nothing to worry about.  There was nothing this kid was going to do that I hadn't already been through.  

Piece of Advice #1:  Kids get easier with age

Payton is now 18.  She's graduated from high school and ready for adulthood.  My response to the "kids get easier with age" spill is:  NO IT DOESN'T!!  I remember, when she was an infant, waking up in the middle of the night to feed her or change her.  Even though I was somewhat sleep deprived, I will NEVER forget the moments of holding her in the complete stillness of the night, smelling her wonderful baby smell, and wishing that she would stay that small forever.  Guess what?  She didn't stay that small forever.  She got bigger, really quickly actually, and THAT'S when the real fun began.

Eventually, kids start to talk, they start to walk, they start to throw temper tantrums, they start to get into things they're not supposed to get into, they start talking back, they start thinking they know everything, and then they become teenagers.  Oh, Lord, help me!  Here's some advice for you:  Cherish those times you get up in the middle of the night with your infant.  That's the time when parenting is the easiest it's ever going to be!  

Piece of Advice #2:  Parenting is easier once you have another child

When Brayden was born, my daughter was still a baby.  She still wore diapers, she still drank from a bottle, and she could barely walk a few steps.  Thank the Lord God Almighty that she slept through the night!  Having two children, both under the age of 1, is probably very similar to having twins.  Twice the feedings, twice the diaper changes, twice the car seats to lug around, and twice the supplies needed in the diaper bag.  How I made it through the baby years with my two oldest children, I don't know.  Even though I knew how to change diapers, feed, bathe, and take care of my son doesn't mean it was any easier.  The only difference was I now had DOUBLE the work.

Once they were a little bigger, things should have gotten easier, right?  WRONG-O!!  Between the ages of about 3 and 14, my kids fought.  Non-stop.  For 11 years straight.  Looking back, I really wished I had recorded myself yelling, "Stop fighting!", "Leave your sister's toys alone!", "Get out of your brother's bedroom!", and "Why can't you both play TOGETHER?"  Had I recorded those sayings, I would have saved myself a LOT of breath.  I could have just played the recordings on a continuous loop, and it would have fit perfectly to how often I had to say them.  It wasn't until they reached their older teen years that they finally started to be civil to one another.  And now?  They're best friends.  Now that they're old enough to move out, graduate from high school, and no longer require my taking care of their every need, they FINALLY get along.  Go figure.

Piece of Advice #3:   Third time's a charm

Now, here's where the story takes a little turn.  When Jada was born, it really was a lot easier.  Payton and Brayden  were a little more self-sufficient, and they actually helped me out quite a bit with their baby sister.  She was a hoot.  When she started talking and walking, she kept us constantly entertained.  Payton and Brayden were very patient with her, they shared their toys, and didn't get too bent out of shape if she invaded their personal space.  Life was pretty good.

Since Jada started school, she's a lot quieter, shyer, and less social than my oldest two children were/are.  She doesn't make friends as easy as Payton and Brayden did, she is more self-conscience about herself, and she is much more comfortable by herself than in a group of people.  Not something I've "been there, done that" with.  Payton and Brayden have always been social butterflies, so Jada being more of a loner is something VERY new to me.  Jada is also EXTREMELY sensitive.  While I could yell and scream at Payton and Brayden, and they wouldn't even blink an eye, Jada doesn't respond the same.  If I raise my voice at Jada, she gets extremely upset.  Do you know how hard it is to discipline a child, who can often have a serious attitude problem, when she responds like I've completely broken her heart?  Yeah.  Not fun!  Definitely NOT easier.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, I absolutely ADORE my children, and wouldn't have changed every single second for anything.  It's been tough at times, I've wanted to pull my hair out, and I've cried uncontrollably thinking I'm a horrible mother and just won't ever "get it".  Then I realized, THAT'S parenting.  No matter how many people tell you that it gets easier, it really doesn't.  Sure, there are some women that seem to be complete naturals at the motherhood thing.  I have no problem admitting I wasn't one of them.  All that matters is you love, learn, and go with the flow.  All of my kids have turned out just fine, and I'm so proud of all of them.  Life hasn't always been easy for them, but I did everything I could for them, and I am so proud and happy that I got to be their mom.  No kids are going to be exactly alike, and that's totally fine.  Roll with the punches, and tell yourself over and over "I got this!" 

That's the advice you didn't ask for, you're welcome!! Please leave me a comment.  Did you receive the same advice?  How did it work out for you?  I'd LOVE to hear from you!!  

'Til next time!