Back to School Shopping, A Teacher's Plea

It's that time of year, again.  The summer is dwindling down, and you're reminded in every store that your child's supply list is waiting.  For some parents, walking into any store towards the end of July is that sweet reminder that summer isn't going to last forever, and your little angels will soon be returning back to school.  For other parents, they walk into the same store and think, "ugh, I'm gonna have to buy all this crap soon".  For teachers?  They just avoid any store for the entire month of July.  It's just too much to accept that they have to go back to work in just a couple of weeks.
Unfortunately for me, I had to make a trek to Wal-Mart last week.  I had no choice but to walk by the aisles filled with parents loading up their carts with their kids' school supplies.  It didn't take 5 seconds for me to hear those words that I hear every year.  The words that make my skin crawl, my defense mode to kick into action, and the swift reminder as to why I avoid these aisles when they're bustling with parents:

"This supply list is RIDICULOUS!! I'm not buying supplies for the teachers and all the other kids who won't buy their own supplies.  No child needs THREE BOXES of pencils!  Teachers can buy their own freaking supplies!"

I get it, parents.  I do.  I was a parent of school aged children for six years before I became a teacher.  I'd look at the supply lists each year and wonder why on earth kids needed so much to go to school.  BUT, it wasn't until I actually became a teacher until I realized WHY I bought those supplies for my kids each year.

I want to take a few minutes to dispel some of those nasty misconceptions that parents often have about their child's supply list:

You're buying supplies for teachers

First and foremost, you're not buying supplies for teachers.  Yes, I know you've seen dry erase markers, pens, Post-Its, and maybe even white-out and staples on the school supply list.  You're first reaction is to think that these supplies are for teachers.  That's not always the case.  Many teachers (myself included) have the students use dry erase markers for assignments.  Kids can use dry erase markers on their desks and personal dry erase boards without making any mess.  Most teachers now have SmartBoards, so they don't use dry erase markers very often.  I also have my kids use pens to write and edit their own papers.  Post-Its are used quite often to take notes while reading.  My students also use White-Out and the stapler.  Whatever is on that list is for the students to use. 

There's no way your kids use that many supplies 

I know it's hard for parents to fathom that their little darlings go through three package of pencils, three packages of paper, and three boxes of Kleenex in a school year.  It's not uncommon for parents to use their own judgement, and buy 1 of everything, even though the supply lists ask for 3 of everything.  However, this past school year was the first in SIX YEARS that I didn't run out of pencils and paper before Christmas.  The only reason for that?  We finally got Chromebooks for the kids to use, so we don't do as much pencil/paper work as we previously did.

Years prior, most of my students had the required supplies, and I STILL ran out of pencils, paper, and Kleenex before the end of the school year.  I'm convinced that kids must eat pencils, because I would go through a box of pencils every couple of days.  They would just vanish.  Kids also use a lot of paper, and Kleenex.  Kids like to blow their nose, a lot. I tried all kinds of tactics to help conserve supplies, but nothing worked. Your kids are in school about 170 days, and when they need a new pencil every couple of days, about 3-5 sheets of paper a day (at least), and around 2-4 Kleenexes a day, one package of each just doesn't cut it. When teachers ask for multiples of something, it's because they know that's AT LEAST how much your child will use throughout the year - although it can often be double that.

You're buying supplies for other children who don't buy their own

As sad as it is, it's very true that many kids will return to school without supplies.  It's often because the family can't afford the supplies.  Sometimes, it's because parents actually refuse to provide supplies because it's "the school's job" to provide the necessary supplies.  Even though many schools do fundraisers to help purchase supplies, and many companies donate supplies, do you know who has to pick up the slack when students don't have their supplies?  The teachers.  That's right.  It's very common for teachers to use THEIR OWN MONEY to purchase supplies for children who don't have them, or whenever the supplies run out.  In my six years of teaching, not a year has gone by that I haven't gone school supply shopping a week after school starts to buy supplies based on how many children didn't get their supplies.  I also make several purchases throughout the school year, when the supplies are dwindling down.  My own money, that I should be using to support my own family, goes to helping kids in my classroom have the supplies they need.

I know that people often believe that schools give teachers money to buy supplies.  Each year, we do get a small stipend to spend on supplies that WE need.  I usually get staples, Post-Its, a package of dry erase markers, and some other odds and ends.  While these supplies help me out, I still end up buying quite a few supplies (out of my own pocket) because they are specially needed for some kind of project or something I'm doing in my classroom.  It's not the school's fault.  They have a limited budget and they have to use the budget to make sure that other needs are met. 

Even though I complained about having to buy so many supplies for my 3 children before I began to teach, that was NOTHING compared to how much money I now spend on school supplies each year.  Now that I'm a teacher, I completely understand why parents are asked to provide supplies for their children.  If the parents don't supply them, the school doesn't magically step in.  No, unfortunately, it's very often the teachers that have to spend their own money to make sure they have the supplies they need. 

Don't know if you are aware of how much teachers make, but my bring home pay equates to about $600 a week.  That's about $15 an hour, if I work a 40 hour work week.  Not exactly racking in the big bucks.  Let's not start on the whole, "teachers only work half a year", and all that jazz.  That's for another blog post.  What I'm trying to say here is when you look at the supply list, realize that your child really does need all that "stuff".  You're not buying the supplies for teachers or kids who don't buy supplies.  You're helping teachers who will end up having to buy supplies, themselves, if you don't get them.  Teachers who have their own kids to buy for, their own families to support, and are pretty much the only professional that has to take a nice chunk of their own money to buy supplies they need to do their job:  Teach YOUR children.  I'm pretty sure doctors aren't buying their own supplies to medically treat you, are often making 3 times as much as teachers, and are still charging HUNDREDS of dollars for 15 minutes of their time.  Think about that, for a second. 

If you think school supplies are expensive now, just wait until you get that first college bill.  Now, THAT'S something to complain about.  HA!!!
 
'Til Next Time!!

Advice You Didn't Ask For: Parenting Gets Easier

It's Wednesday, so that means it's time for: Advice You Didn't Ask For.  Each week, I pick of advice I've been given at some point in my life, that I didn't ask for, and I share how that advice worked out for me.

The backstory

I got pregnant with my first child when I was 17.  I turned 18 just two months before my daughter, Payton, was born.  I was scared, unsure, and didn't really know what to expect.  I am the oldest of 6 kids, so it's not like I hadn't been around babies, but having one of my own was a whole new ballgame.  The advice I received A LOT while pregnant with my oldest was that infancy was the hardest part of motherhood, but it didn't last long.  I recall several women telling me, it was going to be tough at first but it would quickly get easier.  

If having a baby at 18 wasn't tough enough, I gave birth to my son, Brayden, just 11 months after my daughter was born.  I thought I was scared being pregnant at 17, but that was nothing compared to the fear I had of having two babies just 11 months apart from each other.  Throughout my second pregnancy, I was reassured that my second child would be a lot easier than the first, because I already knew what to expect. 

I got a little break before I had my last child.  My youngest, Jada, was born 6 years and 8 months after my second child.  The whole time I was pregnant with her, I knew that I wasn't worried or scared at all.  I had taken the "kids get easier" advice to heart.  Everyone told me that I'd been there, done that with my first two kids, so I had nothing to worry about.  There was nothing this kid was going to do that I hadn't already been through.  

Piece of Advice #1:  Kids get easier with age

Payton is now 18.  She's graduated from high school and ready for adulthood.  My response to the "kids get easier with age" spill is:  NO IT DOESN'T!!  I remember, when she was an infant, waking up in the middle of the night to feed her or change her.  Even though I was somewhat sleep deprived, I will NEVER forget the moments of holding her in the complete stillness of the night, smelling her wonderful baby smell, and wishing that she would stay that small forever.  Guess what?  She didn't stay that small forever.  She got bigger, really quickly actually, and THAT'S when the real fun began.

Eventually, kids start to talk, they start to walk, they start to throw temper tantrums, they start to get into things they're not supposed to get into, they start talking back, they start thinking they know everything, and then they become teenagers.  Oh, Lord, help me!  Here's some advice for you:  Cherish those times you get up in the middle of the night with your infant.  That's the time when parenting is the easiest it's ever going to be!  

Piece of Advice #2:  Parenting is easier once you have another child

When Brayden was born, my daughter was still a baby.  She still wore diapers, she still drank from a bottle, and she could barely walk a few steps.  Thank the Lord God Almighty that she slept through the night!  Having two children, both under the age of 1, is probably very similar to having twins.  Twice the feedings, twice the diaper changes, twice the car seats to lug around, and twice the supplies needed in the diaper bag.  How I made it through the baby years with my two oldest children, I don't know.  Even though I knew how to change diapers, feed, bathe, and take care of my son doesn't mean it was any easier.  The only difference was I now had DOUBLE the work.

Once they were a little bigger, things should have gotten easier, right?  WRONG-O!!  Between the ages of about 3 and 14, my kids fought.  Non-stop.  For 11 years straight.  Looking back, I really wished I had recorded myself yelling, "Stop fighting!", "Leave your sister's toys alone!", "Get out of your brother's bedroom!", and "Why can't you both play TOGETHER?"  Had I recorded those sayings, I would have saved myself a LOT of breath.  I could have just played the recordings on a continuous loop, and it would have fit perfectly to how often I had to say them.  It wasn't until they reached their older teen years that they finally started to be civil to one another.  And now?  They're best friends.  Now that they're old enough to move out, graduate from high school, and no longer require my taking care of their every need, they FINALLY get along.  Go figure.

Piece of Advice #3:   Third time's a charm

Now, here's where the story takes a little turn.  When Jada was born, it really was a lot easier.  Payton and Brayden  were a little more self-sufficient, and they actually helped me out quite a bit with their baby sister.  She was a hoot.  When she started talking and walking, she kept us constantly entertained.  Payton and Brayden were very patient with her, they shared their toys, and didn't get too bent out of shape if she invaded their personal space.  Life was pretty good.

Since Jada started school, she's a lot quieter, shyer, and less social than my oldest two children were/are.  She doesn't make friends as easy as Payton and Brayden did, she is more self-conscience about herself, and she is much more comfortable by herself than in a group of people.  Not something I've "been there, done that" with.  Payton and Brayden have always been social butterflies, so Jada being more of a loner is something VERY new to me.  Jada is also EXTREMELY sensitive.  While I could yell and scream at Payton and Brayden, and they wouldn't even blink an eye, Jada doesn't respond the same.  If I raise my voice at Jada, she gets extremely upset.  Do you know how hard it is to discipline a child, who can often have a serious attitude problem, when she responds like I've completely broken her heart?  Yeah.  Not fun!  Definitely NOT easier.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, I absolutely ADORE my children, and wouldn't have changed every single second for anything.  It's been tough at times, I've wanted to pull my hair out, and I've cried uncontrollably thinking I'm a horrible mother and just won't ever "get it".  Then I realized, THAT'S parenting.  No matter how many people tell you that it gets easier, it really doesn't.  Sure, there are some women that seem to be complete naturals at the motherhood thing.  I have no problem admitting I wasn't one of them.  All that matters is you love, learn, and go with the flow.  All of my kids have turned out just fine, and I'm so proud of all of them.  Life hasn't always been easy for them, but I did everything I could for them, and I am so proud and happy that I got to be their mom.  No kids are going to be exactly alike, and that's totally fine.  Roll with the punches, and tell yourself over and over "I got this!" 

That's the advice you didn't ask for, you're welcome!! Please leave me a comment.  Did you receive the same advice?  How did it work out for you?  I'd LOVE to hear from you!!  

'Til next time!